The anxious mind can bring up many different fears about dating. But, curiosity and open ended questions help kill the fear of dating and meeting someone new.
Maybe it’s fears like not being a attractive enough, do I have too much food in my mouth, they don't seem like my type, what’s my hair look like… We make it about us.
But dating is simply about getting to know someone. That’s it. You're not signing some wild agreement. You don't know where the relationship is going to go. It might last a minute. It might last a year. It might last a life time. What we do know is people want to be known. Everyone wants to be known. When you seek interest in someone else, they feel known. And thats the most flattering, point of attraction you can have.
Your fear might sound something like.. "he's too short. She's out of my league. I'm not good enough. What do I get out of this? " Whatever your limiting self-talk is.. curiosity kills the fear and puts you in control of driving the conversation and giving you more of an idea of what you want.
When we become curios we stop assuming and start asking questions. We get to know someone. Don’t just ask questions like "What do you?" which has a short one word response, but how about "What do you like to do?" or “What is it you love about your work?”
How about a question like, "What are you enjoying about today?" "What brought you here?" These may seem like generic questions. But when you start a conversation with a curios open ended question about THEM, not about you. That’s when you start to get to know someone. Thats when THEY feel interested.
The next date or next time you meet someone, try this out as an experiment. Instead of thinking about what that person can do for you or how they might respond, or whatever fear you come up with, get curious. Ask them about them. Get to know them. and see what happens.
If anything, you will have met someone new, a potential friend, maybe more..